Snakes and Pills

003 - new walls

Bob, my boss, was no longer roaming around the office. That meant that, right now, in my cubicle, I finally had some freedom. He had lingered until 9:35. So much wasted time, trying to look productive. But now the morning was mine. I closed out the spreadsheets and graphs I was working on, and pulled out my copy of the Times.

Flipping around for a few minutes, I found myself reading through the least news-worthy things, like the classifieds and the advertisements for free law consultations if you are injured on the job.

I found the horoscope section. Like most people, I don't really believe horoscopes, but I, you know, believe horoscopes. I read my sign, Leo, and this is what it said:

"This weekend may hold luck in store and financial gains. Follow a Pisces for true romance." Just then, I noticed a coworker, Juliet, walking by. For reasons that I can only associate with the astrological gods, I happened to catch a rather animated fish tattooed on to her ankle.

A fish... Pisces. I realized. Juliet had always been beautiful. Not in the overly-attractive way, but she had her charm. Her face, and indeed her entire body, was a bit plump, but it was nothing a man couldn't work around.

Follow a Pisces. I got up from my cubicle's desk, and listened to the horoscope, following but keeping my distance. That's the problem with horoscopes, they tell you to do something like follow for true romance, but they don't tell you how to make the whole thing fall together. Should I just walk up to her and say, "so, the paper said 'you and I, today,' so get with me, girl"? Of course not, but what was I to do? I moved like an office ninja, stealthily gliding from cubicle to cubicle behind Juliet and her neatly pressed office skirt, until she ducked into the copy room.

I stood outside the room for a few seconds. Contemplating what to say. I figured I'd just ask her for coffee, if she seemed happy enough to see me in the first place. Yes, I would start off casual, friendly, and see where it went. Come on horoscope.

I clicked the door opened, and saw Juliet bent over the copy machine. Her skirt was now hitched up, and my coworker, another Bob, was fucking her hard from behind. I clicked the door closed without them even noticing my entrance.

I looked up those ads for injury on the job.


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