Snakes and Pills

010 - silver plate

Did you hear that one about all those people getting sick on cruises? Yeah, you know, every once in a while, some sort of illness breaks out on a cruise ship, a bunch of people get sick because they're in a contained environment and the virus can easily spread.

The E.Coli or whatever it is always comes from some contaminated food, right? Well, from what I hear, that's not actually the case. Well, I mean, it might be some of the time, but not always.

See, there was this bartender, worked for one of the cruise lines. What? I forget his name, it was something like Moe. Yeah, I'm just thinking of the bartender from The Simpsons. Well, anyways, he was some bartender. Actually, in a lot of ways, he was like Moe.

Yeah, this guy was unhappy or something. I don't know why, he was a real bitter guy, just generally filled with hate or something. Who knows, man, maybe someone killed his dog when he was a kid. You're the one who was always interested in the psychology side. Anyways, this guy was a real kook. Just generally a terrible guy.

Somehow he gets hired as a bartender though. Aren't bartenders supposed to be friendly, like someone you can talk to or something? I guess the alcohol can compensate for the lack of friendliness in a bartender. So he worked on a bunch of these cruises, and yeah, of course, on a bunch of cruises a bunch of people got sick, and some even died.

No big deal, right? Of course a lot of people ended up working on multiple cruises where people got sick. But I guess somehow they found out that he was actually poisoning the guests on the cruise. Yeah, I don't know how they found out, I think it was something like he had a bunch of virus samples or something at his home or in his cabin or something. Either way, I guess he'd put stuff into people's drinks, or whatever. Does that make sense to you?

Man, I told you, I don't know why. He just had it out for people. He knew he was in a position to do some damage and he just did. Yeah, so just be careful, I guess. You never know when someone's gonna mess with your food.

Oh, what happened to him? That's the weirdest part. So, turns out he ended up getting some little girl on the cruise sick. No, she wasn't drinking booze, I guess somehow she got coughed on or whatever and she caught the disease from someone else. But yeah, she died. This guy was so bothered for some reason, he threw himself off the back of the ship. I guess they never found his whole body, just chunks, you know, from the propeller and stuff.

Guilty about a little girl. What about all the others? Man, that guy must have been really messed up.


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