Snakes and Pills

072 - short hair

Another Saturday afternoon wasted. Teddy sat there on the sofa, in his boxers. Sweating. The TV was blaring bullshit at him at full volume, but he wasn't particularly interested in whatever was on. He was regretting having eaten so many chips, his stomach felt uncomfortable and his hands were covered in crumbs and grease.

His cell phone, which was laying on the coffee table in front of him, vibrated twice. He picked it up to see that he had received a new message. He hoped that it would be from some girl, although it seemed unlikely that any woman would find such a slob to be desirable in the slightest. As he slid forward, the chip crumbs that had taken a brief rest on his chest tumbled to the ground.

"The dog'll clean that up," he said to himself, finally grasping the phone in his greasy claws. The message was from his best friend, Don. "You up to anything?" it simply read. Teddy manipulated the buttons on the screen, which was difficult given the greasy nature of his fingers. He typed out "Nah" in reply.

A few moments elapsed before the phone buzzed again. "I'm bored." Teddy began replying, "Yeah me too."

"So wanna do something?" Don asked. "Nah it's too much work" was Teddy's response. He tossed the phone back onto the coffee table--even if Don sent him another message, he had no intention of replying or even reading it.

Indeed, he heard his phone vibrate a few more times but he just zoned out on the television. It was some show about snake handlers, which didn't really interest Teddy in the slightest, and yet he lacked the motivation to find another channel. As time wore on, he figured it would do him no more harm to simply fall asleep on the sofa, and so he drifted slowly in and out of consciousness, before finally settling on being fully asleep.

Thus, to Teddy, it was an unknown amount of time later when he found himself awakened by the feeling of someone breathing on his face. He opened his eyes rapidly, in surprise. Before he was able to comprehend the situation fully, he was only aware that someone was staring him face to face, from a very close viewpoint. Teddy began to scream, before he realized whose face it was that was peering at him.

"Jesus, calm down, Ted, I was just checking if you were alive," Don said to him. Teddy's heart was still pounding rapidly, even though he was quickly realizing that he was not moments away from being murdered by a crazed madman or anything of the sort. "What the hell are you doing here? How'd you get in here?!" Teddy demanded.

"Dude, you didn't even lock the door. Maybe that would be a good idea if you didn't want random people just walking into your house. As for why I'm here, you never replied to my texts, and I was getting impatient, so I just decided to head on over."

Even though Teddy knew Don well, and ultimately it was futile anyway, he still briefly tried to clean up his mess of a room and make himself presentable. While doing so, he carried on the conversation, "So? Why did you come here, impatient about what?"

"You didn't even read your messages, then?" Don asked, picking up Teddy's phone and seeing that indeed, all of the messages he had sent to Teddy were unread. "Perhaps you ought to. Big news." He tossed the phone over to Teddy, who by now was getting dressed in something somewhat more formal than underwear.

"What big news? You're bored?" Teddy said as he finished pulling the shirt over his neck. He picked up his phone, and scanned through the messages. His eyes widened. "Holy. Shit. Are you serious?"

Don just nodded.


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